Why Is It Hard to Invest in Myself?

AKA: Why do I feel guilty taking care of me?

A self-inquiry for women who are always holding everything together.

If you:

hesitate to spend time or money on yourself, feel guilt when you rest, sign up for something and then question whether you “should"...

It’s okay.

This isn’t a flaw. It’s usually a learned pattern.

Let’s look at it without shame.

Step 1: Notice Your First Reaction

When you consider booking a service, joining a membership, or blocking time for yourself, what comes up first?

• Guilt

• Anxiety about money

• “I should be doing something more productive”

• Fear it won’t be worth it

• Worry about what others will think

• A voice that says “That’s selfish”

• Feeling like that time or money should be given to someone else ( like your kids)

  
  

Write down or speak out loud your honest reaction. No filtering.

Step 2: Trace It Back Gently

I invite you to reflect on these prompts:

• Growing up, how was self-care modeled in my home?

• Was I praised for being helpful, responsible, or low-maintenance?

• Did I learn that love was earned through being useful?

• Were my emotional needs openly acknowledged, or did I handle them alone?

• Did money feel tight or stressful in my household?

• Was I blamed for my parent's financial hardship (if it existed)?

Our childhood conditioning is important. It got us to where we are today. However, today we may find resistance in our bodies because of our hardwired neurological conditioning from our early childhood years. It heavily impacts how we act, behave and react as adults. This section can be REALLY helpful. It can also be really hard work, but for me personally, it's been the BEST work. Be kind to yourself through this.

Step 3: Identify the Belief

Complete this sentence:

“If I invest in myself, it means ______.”

Examples:

• I’m selfish.

• I’m irresponsible.

• I’m wasting money.

• I’m not prioritizing my family.

• I’m being indulgent.

Now ask:

Is this belief actually mine… or was it learned?

Step 4: Reframe (Without Forcing It)

Instead of positive affirmations, try something grounded:

• It makes sense that this feels uncomfortable.

• I learned to survive by putting myself last.

• That pattern helped me once.

• It may not be serving me now.

Pause here. Breathe.

Step 5: A New Question

What if investing in myself isn’t indulgent…What if it’s regulation?What if it’s sustainability?What if it helps me show up more steady, not less?

Write what feels true — not what sounds good.

Closing Reflection

If this is you, you’re not broken.

You adapted. You became capable. You became the steady one.

But being steady doesn’t mean being depleted.

I invite you to explore this without criticism. Sometimes simply understanding where the resistance comes from brings relief.

Taking care of you — and investing your hard-earned money on you — can be a quiet act of recalibration, not selfishness.

P.s. You’re allowed to recalibrate.

Lastly...it takes time for our nervous system to shift. If you do this deeper dive today, and it inspires you act on your self-care, know that whatever you're feeling now may linger for a while. Come back to this dive if this happens and KEEP GOING. Over time, it gets easier. Your self-care can and will feel empowering and non-negotiable. It took me about a year to finally not feel guilty about taking time for myself (and spending money on me). Now I feel really good about taking care of me, and I absolutely will never NOT indulge and make myself a priority. My family and I thrive when I do.

As always, I'm here for you. PLEASE reach out if you need anything.

XO, Meg (315-593-4732)