Journaling

this is what my life looks like right now.

i work 10–12 hours a week working a job I LOVE. i earn $60k a year. i homeschool my kids. i tend to our homestead. and i am becoming deeply present with my family.

for a long time, this felt like a detour from success. i’m not working 40 hour weeks. i’m not making six figures. but i finally asked myself — if i stopped looking at this as a detour and started looking at it as the actual success i’ve been trying to build… what pressure would i finally be willing to put down?

and it hit me. i have literally created the life we worked so hard to build. six years to get here. and we’re finally fucking here.

and yeah, i’m still striving. of course i am. our culture tells us to strive. consumerism tells us to buy the next thing, do the next thing. our culture ties success to money. it tells women to work stable jobs, provide income, AND raise children. i’m doing all of that — and somehow i still feel like i’m not making enough, not present enough. like i’m just never enough.

we get so stuck in that cycle. constantly striving to be enough while never feeling like we are.

so i hope you’ll take a moment to reflect. think about where you were ten, fifteen years ago. what you were hoping your life would look like by now. maybe it’s exactly what you predicted. maybe it’s completely different. either way — have so much compassion for yourself. understand that journey has gone the way it has for a reason. recognize how we’ve been conditioned & that conditioning is literally shaping our realities through subconscious beliefs we didn’t even choose.

+we are enough. we are always right on time. we don’t have to strive. we can just live in our lives without needing to do more or be someone else.

for me, that means not working full time. it means working 10–12 hours a week doing something i love, and spending the rest of my time deeply present with my family — especially my kids. i am in a season of mothering and i am really trying to honor that. it’s taken me a few years to get here.

this last month has been a big (frustrating and relieving) turning point. my nervous system finally caught up to my mind. it let go. it released. like — okay. this is okay. we’re going to be fine. you can be here and be content with what you’ve built. you can just be & enjoy it.

coming home to yourself is not always rainbows and butterflies. but it is the best fucking work. there is so much relief and alignment that comes when you stay consistent with it.

i’m right here with you doing the same work. keep on keeping on 🫶🏻